localnativity: i wanna audition for all the ugly roles in movies because if you get the part youre in a movie which is cool but if you don’t get the part it means that you’re not ugly enough for it which is also cool
Drake: You calling me a liar?!
Josh: I ain't calling you a truther!
Josh: You want a mouth full of fist?!
Drake: You want a butt full of foot?!
Josh: I hope you go bald!
Drake: I hope they cancel Oprah!
Josh: *GASP* You take that back!
originalcallum: jamtards: im so easily amused oh my fucking god but the pepper what the fuck the plug looks fucking terrified “Some things are not supposed to be seen”
reblog if you dated taylor swift this year
msjewbooty: i love to say dumb things and do dumb things but i promise you im not actually that dumb please believe me
harrysfringe: CAN YOU IMAGINE A BOYFRIEND?? LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY GIVING A SHIT ABOUT YOU??? BECAUSE I CAN’T???
archaeosaur: social anxiety is when successfully ordering a pizza over the phone makes you feel like a fucking champion
you know no one likes you when you will fall in love with any boy that speaks a word to you
friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
friend: OH MAN
friend: OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
friend: I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
friend: SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
friend: JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
I belong with you; you belong with me.
You’re my sweetheart.